


Severus Snape - This Was Your Life!

by AmandaHuffleduck



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterlife, M/M, Post - Deathly Hallows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:02:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaHuffleduck/pseuds/AmandaHuffleduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus is dead. Now what?</p>
<p>Originally posted on the <i>Lupin/Snape_Lurve</i> community.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Severus Snape - This Was Your Life!

**Author's Note:**

> Written after DH.  
> I was just... getting some things off my chest.
> 
> Quoted dialogue ~~taken~~ ~~nicked~~ sourced from the books.

_Merlin's Merkin, King's Cross Station?_

Snape folded his arms into his sleeves and scowled around. The symbology was not lost on him: a train station as the point of transition between one life and the next. How bloody trite…

"Severus Snape?"

A toothy wizard with expensive robes and a helmet of perfectly coiffed hair had appeared. Snape raised an eyebrow and waited.

"Severus Snape," the wizard grinned even more inanely as he flourished a large, leather-bound book at him. "This… Was Your life!" 

The twat spoke as if he was expecting applause. Snape's eyebrow merely climbed higher.

"What?"  
"This Was Your Life!" the wizard burbled again with a touch of impatience.  
Snape sighed.  
"Is this the point where I look astonished yet smugly pleased and exclaim something like " _Me? Really? Oh, I can't believe it!_ "  
"Yes, that's it, exactly!" the wizard beamed. "I'm Rupert Wartlebeet and I'm here – "  
"Piss off."  
" – to celebrate …What?"  
"Piss. Off." Snape ground out. "I lived my fucking life, you imbecile, I know perfectly well there was nothing to celebrate."  
The flamboyant teeth retreated behind pursed lips.  
"Listen, _mate_ ," Wartlebeet hissed. "I've got a job to do and I'm bloody well going to do it." 

He opened the book with an irritable snap. The smile and pitched enthusiasm returned in determined force. 

"Severus Snape, do you remember this voice?"  
" _My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you? If you insist…_ " 

Snape stiffened as the familiar tones reverberated around the empty station.

"Albus…" 

He'd never held much store in the notion of an afterlife but it made an insane sort of sense that being dead now himself he'd come across others who'd died. Snape swallowed down the lump in his throat and erased all expression from his face: whether he was ready to face this particular ghost was debatable. 

"Yes indeed, Professor Snape, Albus Dumbledore. Your mentor and lifelong friend."  
" _Friend_?" Snape bared his teeth at the brightly robed figure suddenly standing in front of him. "Handler would be more accurate!"  
"Severus, my dear, dear boy…"

Dumbledore's blue eyes were bright and clear, and damned if he wasn't _twinkling_ at him. He had no right to twinkle after all he'd put him through! Snape lifted his chin and refused to acknowledge how much he'd missed the infuriating old meddler. 

"You used me, Albus."  
The twinkle dimmed a little.  
"I can only say I'm so very sorry – "  
"You preyed on my weakness and you _used_ me."

The smallest of sad smiles played around the old wizard's lips.

"Yes, I used you, Severus, and I regretted the necessity every day, but necessity it was. I needed a weapon and you were the best I had. The secret, silent blade."

A question shot up from the muddy depths of Snape's mind and was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Was I ever more than just a weapon?"  
"Yes, oh yes." The headmaster's voice was soft. 

Jaw clenched, Snape glared at him, foolishly wanting to believe even now that someone, anyone had truly lov-, _cared_ for him. He lifted his chin: it was a childish fantasy, it had always been a childish fantasy. If the kind regards of others had meant anything to him at all then logically he wouldn't have spent his life driving people away…

Wartlebeet cleared his throat, earning himself a irritated sneer which he gamely ignored. He consulted the book again.

"And now, Professor Snape, do you remember these voices?"  
" _Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you…_?"  
"Potter." Snape growled.  
" _My whole family have been in Slytherin… Maybe I'll break the tradition…_?"  
"And Black." He bared his teeth. "Lovely."  
"Severus," Dumbledore admonished gently. "Is it not time to let go of the animosity?"  
"What? We're dead now so why not all be jolly friends?" Snape looked like he was chewing carpet tacks. "I am never going to feel more than the deepest contempt for those… _pricks_!"

"Now, now, Snivellus." Black and Potter had sauntered out of nowhere; Black's grin was as infuriatingly smug as ever. "You know you've always envied us."

Snape almost did it - he almost stepped up to _Sirius Fucking Black_ and smashed his teeth in. The need to feel the bastard's face crumple beneath his fist, to see him writhing and bloodied at his feet was intoxicating –

"That's enough, Sirius." Dumbledore said sharply. "That attitude has never been helpful." He turned an equally severe countenance on an infuriated Snape. "And you, Severus, need to… what's the word…? Ah yes, _chill_."

Snape was momentarily taken aback by the ludicrous phrase, but only momentarily.

"What is the _point_ of all this?" He burst out angrily. "Am I expected to make amends before I can 'move on'? Or is this simply the last chance for me to relive the most excruciating moments of my life before I'm finally granted oblivion?!"

So intent had he been on venting his frustration, Snape missed Wartlebeet's lead-in for the next guest. The voice that sounded now through the station stopped him cold.

" _It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it…_?"

"No!" Snape's face was anguished and he was breathing high and hard. "I refuse to participate any longer." He couldn't help but notice the look of sympathy on Potter's face and thought he might scream.

"Oh, Sev." Lily stood before him, green, green eyes appearing to shimmer with gratitude and compassion. "Thank you, for all you've done for Harry." She wrapped her arms around his stiff body, pulling him in to a close hug. "Thank you." 

Her lips brushed his cheek and Snape felt something tight and painful in his chest begin to loosen. He relaxed in to his friend's embrace, allowing himself the briefest moment to nuzzle her hair, breathe in her scent. After all this time he still felt so… helpless in Lily's presence. 

She released him and stepped back, giving him a beaming smile before moving to stand beside her husband. This time though, this time, there was only a faint regret as Snape watched her go to Potter, not the all-consuming jealousy and sour spite. The ever-present tightness in his chest loosened a bit more…

"And now, finally, Professor Snape, do you remember _this_ voice?"

Snape dragged his attention back to Wartlebeet and frowned. Who could be left? 

" _Full of Dark Magic? Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anyone who tries to read it. Childish, but surely not dangerous_?"

Snape forced his face to utter neutrality while bitterly cursing his sorry luck. Only he could find himself in the situation of having to confront not one, but both his secret, hopeless loves.  
Wait. Lupin was here? Did that mean…?

"You're dead." He said flatly.  
"I am, yes." Lupin's lips quirked with amusement but his eyes were sad.  
"But… you have a son…"  
"Death doesn't make distinction's like that." James Potter spoke up from one side, but Snape couldn't look away from the werewolf's face. Remus seemed… younger?

"I'll miss Teddy very much." Lupin was wistful. "But I've been assured I can 'pop in' now and again to check on him." He glanced over at the Potters.  
"Now and again, yes." Lily said with a soft smile. "Love can make all sorts of things possible."  
"Well, he'll have his mother at least." Snape said, then wondered at his sudden urge to offer comfort. He'd never been very good at it, having little empathy with the world in general, and – judging by the look on Lupin's face - it seemed he'd failed again. Would've been better to keep his mouth shut, Snape thought glumly.

"No, Tonks died as well."  
"Oh." Snape cast about for the right words. "You have my condolences."  
Lupin cleared his throat.  
"Thank you." 

The long, low notes of a train's whistle sounded in the distance.

"The train's coming." Remus said simply, amber eyes fixed on Snape's face, regarding him with an intensity that was a little unsettling. "Will you come aboard with me?"

Snape blinked.

"Why?" He blurted.  
"Because it's something we both want to do." 

Remus took a meaningful step closer and Snape felt the blood rise around his ears. Aware of their audience he held himself still, even as a dizzying hope blossomed.

"What about your wife? Shouldn't you be with her?"  
Lupin was silent for a moment, then he smiled.  
"I will never, ever regret Teddy… but marrying Dora was a mistake."  
"Then why did you?" Snape whispered, half fearing the answer but needing to hear it anyway. Remus paused again.  
"It's not unusual to settle for the next best thing, when you believe your first choice is out of reach."  
It was Snape's turn to clear his throat.  
"First choice?"  
"Yes." Lupin's smile was edging towards mischievous now. "We never quite seemed to be in alignment, did we, Severus?" He reached for Snape's hand. "Until now."  
"Until now." Snape confirmed in an unsteady whisper.

The train was in sight, pulling around the bend some little distance from the station. 

"Will you come with me?" Lupin asked again.  
"And go where?"  
The werewolf shrugged.  
"Does it matter?" His tone became the slightest bit… suggestive. "I'm sure we can find a carriage to ourselves."

Snape looked around at the others on the station; Wartlebeet, disinterested in the proceedings and distracted by something he'd found in his nose; Dumbledore, satisfied; Lily – and James, encouraging; Black, faintly nauseous. 

Snape smirked, squeezing Lupin's fingers. 

"Very well, then. We're both well overdue for a holiday…"


End file.
